Todd Cahill – YOU vs YOU
Today I have a treat for you!
I interviewed my friend, Todd Cahill, and I want you to listen to this.
He is very motivational, and he’s an amazing speaker.
The amount of knowledge that comes out of that mouth is completely impressive.
So, I want you to really listen to this.
Todd has a beautiful tier one published book called You vs You.
So, after you hear this podcast, if you are not super impressed at the end, I don’t know what to tell you.
But check it out, let’s do the podcast, and if you love what you hear, check out Todd’s book. It’s available in almost any bookstore. And if that bookstore does not have it, ask them for it. It is You vs. You: 12 Ways to Kick Your Own Ass and Win.
It’s available on Amazon, of course. It’s available at Barnes & Noble and most the good bookstores. Here we go.
Quin: Today’s guest wants to leave a strong footprint in this world. He is a life coach, the published author of You vs. You. The father of three, Todd Cahill.
How’s it going, Todd?
Todd: Great, Quin. Thanks so much for having me. It’s an honor and pleasure.
Quin: My pleasure. It’s an honor to have you here.
Todd: Thank you.
Quin: I see you’re a father of three.
Quin: I have three, as well. So, what are their ages?
Todd: They’re 12, 10, and one just turned six. Girl, boy, girl.
Quin: Boy, girl, boy?
Todd: Girl, boy, girl. I love having girls. Having a girl was my first child. Had it really in my early 20’s, but it kinda mellowed me out a little bit ‘cause I was way too driven. When I had my first child, I guess I got a lot more empathy, I think, in life. [chuckles]
Quin: They do teach us a lot without even speaking, and they can teach us so much.
Todd: [laughs] What about you? You got a boy, girl, boy? Two girls, boy?
Quin: I have a five-year old, she’s a girl. And I had two at the same time. So, one of each.
Quin: The twins, they’re about to turn two next month.
Quin: Sorry. In two months. Yeah, one of each.
Todd: Awesome. Congratulations.
Quin: Thank you.
Quin: You’re married to your beautiful wife, Kristin.
Todd: Yes. Yes.
Quin: How long have you guys been together?
Todd We’ve been together for four years and we got married almost two years ago. June, in the summertime.
Quin: Before we get into business here. I like people to know a little bit about you.
Todd: Sure. Well, my story is kinda similar to some of your guests that you’ve had on and I know this is a podcast about failure and failing forward. I grew up in a small town. My parents didn’t have a lot of money for college so I did my best to work hard in sports and I was able to get a full ride to some Division I colleges in track and field.
I was so upset because I ran under a four-minute mile in high school, but I was so upset ‘cause I wanted basketball scholarships and not track and field scholarships. I thought I was a failure. But that led to go to Liberty University where I did the decathlon there and I was there for three years. I just dropped out because I was a Business Major and I didn’t really want to go work for somebody else.
My mom did network marketing in Mary Kay ever since I was a little boy. So, I knew there was another opportunity. To make a long story short, and I think your listeners might get a kick out of this real quick, I read a book in eighth grade called The Success Journey by Dr. John Maxwell, and I ended up giving someone a call. My best friend, who worked for John Maxwell in early 2000 years.
The guy that hired me was names Gay [inaudible 0:04:38.0]. He’s now New York Time’s bestseller. He was my boss, and he hired me on the spot when I was doing really well in sales in Myrtle Beach to come to Atlanta to make $25,000 a year which is horrible money. But I was able to travel. I was able to hang out with John Maxwell, promote him, Ken Blanchard, Joe Gibbs of Joe Gibbs Racing, Michael Eddershaw.
That’s where I really developed this taste and desire to be an author one day. To be a speaker, to be an influencer, but I didn’t know what that looked like. I ended up getting involved in network marketing, did really well, made millions of dollars, started to really develop a skill instead of speaking. I was very shy. I talked about that in my book.
Just going through a ton of challenges but was able to start influencing and changing a lot of people’s lives. I’ve been doing that for 16 years now, full-time. That led to the desire to write a book and that just launched about two months ago all over the country and all over airports and Barnes & Noble, and everything.
Really, it’s been a dream come true but in that process, I have failed way more than I’ve succeeded. That’s for sure, my friend. It was a lot more than I’ve actually succeeded.
Quin: I guess that common threat is that most people, or everybody that gets to success, they go through a bunch of failures, right? That’s how we learn. The way to success is made of failures.
Todd: It really is. ‘Cause nobody wants to be a failure. We’re failing, but that doesn’t mean we’re failures. There are some people out there that just don’t get it. They don’t have that self awareness. Maybe it’s a failure in your relationship and they’re like, “Oh my gosh. Why would that person not love me?” Or, “Why would that person just run away from me or divorce me?” And they go to another relationship but they don’t change. They just go into another relationship broken. Then like, “Oh my gosh. Why doesn’t anyone love me? I’m so lovable.”
The best thing about failure is you do more thinking. You do more self-analysis. You do more self-aware like, “This is what I need to change.” Then, that’s when you decide and take massive action on the tools necessary to change. Listening to your podcast would be one way to people that can change. They listen to great information and they actually take action on it.
That’s what I’m all about. It’s just self-evaluation and self-awareness ‘cause that’s the only way you’re gonna win. That you versus your success, and that’s what I talked about in my book. It really gives that different perspective than a lot of the self-help books that I’ve read.
It’s three R’s. You have to Return to the battle. If you wanna be successful, and everyone defines their own success, right? Success to me could be, to somebody, a Lamborghini and a mansion. To me, that’s not success. Success is a certain lifestyle. Success is certain freedom.
Success is just this ability to live life on your terms, and that could be $50,000 a year. If you’re an entrepreneur, it could be $100,000 a year, or it could be $100,000 a month. Depends on whatever your perspective is.
Whenever you’re struggling, whenever you’re failing, you have to return to the battle of whatever you’re going through and know what it’s doing to you and your family, and the negative things that it’s doing to you, and then redefine it because what the battle’s actually doing to you is making you stronger. That’s why problems and challenges are great. I know problems and challenges stink. You’d rather have a great life and go to the movies and have some popcorn. But you grow only in the challenges and only in your problems.
That’s why I love, I love, I love watching football and the NFL, and I love sports in general and I was an athlete because that’s when gets so exciting. It’s when the team comes back when they’re losing, and then all of a sudden, that shift happens, and that’s exactly what life is. It’s inch by inch, play by play. That’s how we win the game of life. Then you return or redefine it, and then repeat once you find your path. You repeat and get into that routine and make those wise choices every single day that’s gonna put you back on that path even more than ever to that road to success and significance.
Quin: Fantastic. You mentioned there that you would like to become a influencer which, I believe, after checking your social media, you are already an influencer.
Todd: Thank you. You are, too. You’re amazing. [laughs]
Quin: Thanks, Todd. I’m looking for an honest answer here, okay?
Quin: I looked at your social media, and everywhere I looked, there’s thousands of people following you. Even Dean Graziosi follows you.
Todd: He’s a good friend of mine. He’s amazing.
Quin: He is amazing. I didn’t know you were friends, but he’s fantastic.
Todd: He’s about to marry my friend’s sister.
Quin: [chuckles] Very good. Tell me. All these followers, is it because of the motivation you give or is it ‘cause you look like freaking Thor from the Avengers?
Todd: [laughs] No. Actually, you’re a good looking guy, too. I have a coach who’s a girl, and she actually coaches me on this. I think that’s sometimes been my downfall, maybe being good-looking and stuff. ‘Cause people perceive, and I’m six foot six, so if you had met me, I’m the size of Michael Jordan. I’m six foot six, and everything seems shorter because I’m in videos.
That’s hurting me actually, sometimes because people think I’m stuck up and my wife’s beautiful, too. But once you get to meet my wife and once you get to meet me, we’re really just cool chill people and we really care about people and I really, really have this passion.
Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have it. Sometimes, I wish I could just work at Starbucks. Sometimes, you just live a normal life. But I have this insatiable passion, just like Tony Robbins does, to get people to stop suffering because I’ve suffered so much in my life and this past 12 months has been the worst 12 months of my life.
But it’s been the best because I’ve gone through things that most people will probably go through or not. But some probably not, and it’s been torturous sometimes up here in the mindset. But I really do give value and I really, really look at my content.
I never was a good writer but I started to become a good writer and I started to get new routine every morning drinking my coffee, writing, and whatever you wanna call it, copywriting, whatever, I just write. I just write from the heart and that really has transcended me into a book, and that’s been five-year process.
It’s a little bit of both but mostly just consistency, just like your last guest, of doing Facebook lives, doing Instagram lives, doing videos, doing writing, doing quotes, two to three times a day, seven days a week, posting for past 10 years. But I will say what she said, your last guest, is something I do and on a daily basis is comparing.
You have some friends with Dean Graziosi and you look at his everything. He’s got a thing coming next week where there’s already 80,000 people registered for a webinar with Tony Robbins. I’ve been watching him since I was a teenager on TV. I’m only 38 and I just had a book launched two months ago, so sometimes I think I should be where these guys are but I haven’t put in the decades that they’ve put in.
I always have to just stay in my lane like Trish said and just focus on what I can do for others because everyone’s different. Everyone has something better to offer. Or not better to offer, but different to offer. But it’s all the same, but it’s coming from different perspectives.
Some women love to listen to other women. Some women love to actually get coached by men. I’m just a vessel where I love to help women and men, it doesn’t matter. Whoever wants to follow my message, come on down, and if there’s any way I can get you really mostly out of that you versus you battle and win that internally, where you can lead yourself, then you’re able to really lead others because the worst thing about personal development is, imagine meeting you or meeting me in person and we’re giving content like a maze but in our personal lives, it shambles and we’re wires.
We have a persona and we’re not really who we say we are. I respect so much the people that are giving but behind closed doors, they actually are those people behind closed doors, but it’s so hard. You don’t have to be perfect but it’s so hard because it takes so much responsibility to be a giver and not a taker.
It’s a lot less responsibility to be a taker. I can take, I can take, I can take. I can live whatever life I want. But if you wanna be a giver, if you really wanna truly add value, be careful what you wish for because it starts with you first. You’ve got to completely reinvent yourself almost all the time to continue to grow ‘cause you’re either growing in life or you’re declining.
Once you know that, your relationships are gonna not suffer. Everything is gonna be awesome in your life even though you’re gonna show struggles. That is a choice I have to make that identity basis. Am I growing today or am I gonna decline? There is no in between.
Quin: I love it. I love that, Todd. Do you have to think often when you’re in your personal life when there are always things that happen that are gonna get a reaction off from you?
Quin: Do you have to think lots to control yourself or does it come natural to you right now?
Todd: That is a phenomenal question. No, it doesn’t come naturally. In fact, just today, it’s been a little bit of a rough day. Not rough in any, just like waking up and maybe in a bad attitude. Then you seen the in the movie The Secret: Law of Attraction? Once you put that energy, I believe in that 100%.
I’m not a universe person, but I’m more of just God. I’m a Christian and everything. But it is true. Energy in, energy out. I was putting a lot of negative energy this morning and I had to choose. I had to stop in my tracks. I had to meditate for five minutes and I said, “Stop. Okay. Yes, you’ve made some mistakes today.” I was out of my routine, I got to the gym late. I was hard on myself cause I wasn’t doing the work that I needed to be effective but I just stopped and just start being grateful.
I said, “Man, I get to go on a date tonight with my wife. I get to be on this podcast today. I’m so grateful.” But it’s a choice, and I’ve been doing this for 16 years. I struggle with it every single day. I will say this, there’s worry and there’s concern, right, Quin?
We don’t wanna worry. Worry is bad. Worry is not good. Concern is good. We all need to be concerned, not worry, about our reactions because your one reaction away from going to jail, divorcing, getting arrested. [chuckles] Or you’re one reaction away from being amazing, being a leader, impacting the world, impacting people, and it’s scary because it’s a thin line.
We have to be very careful about our emotions and our feelings because they’re so real. It’s okay to get angry, but what are you gonna do with that anger? It’s okay to get frustrated, but what are you gonna with that frustration. I always think about my story. How can I get out of this so that I can tell someone about it next week? So I can inspire people with my own story of how I conquered self that day so I could be even more inspiring but give people action steps to take on what I did to help them? That’s how I start thinking instead of just being lazy about my reaction.
Quin: Very good. I wish I knew who said this, but there’s something that stayed with me. It’s about worrying. Somebody said, “Worrying is like praying for something that you don’t want.”
Quin: I find that that’s very powerful ‘cause it’s true. When you worry about something, you’re just focused on the thing you don’t want to happen.
Quin: I guess you can attract if that’s what you’re focused on.
Todd: It’s so true, you can. You can also live in a mental prison worried about checking your email, worried about who’s gonna text you, and could go on edge. Especially if you’re married ‘cause you have a family. I have a family. Oh, man. Take that into the family life, over time, it gets so draining for your spouse. It gets so draining even for your children.
Even on the young age, they can sense your worry and they can sense your energy, or lack thereof. It’s something, especially for me as a man and you as a man. It’s important to be a leader of my household, but I failed a lot in that. I refuse to keep failing, though. It’s a choice that I’ve made that I have to lead myself. If I do, my life is amazing.
My wife is so happy all the time. I realize that she’ll always be happy with or without me, but I can definitely bring her happiness down if I keep bringing worry into the house and literally, I will. She responds amazingly well to my happiness and my joy, and my excitement and my energy. But if I’m worrying, if I’m complaining, it makes her so drained herself.
It’s an easy fix, but I think it takes some counseling. It takes some understanding where that worry is coming from because everyone’s different. Everyone worries about different things. I don’t care if I die. I really don’t. A lot of people worry about death, I don’t. A lot of people worry about if they’re gonna go to heaven or not, I don’t. But man, do I worry about money.
I worry about money and taking care of my family ‘cause I’m the sole provider. I’ve always worried about money but I don’t worry about driving or driving to the city, or a lot of things. I have to understand it’s all perspective, right? You have to redefine that battle and then repeat the wise choices that you choose to make so that you could not have to worry anymore, and then you build that confidence that worry goes away because it takes 21 to 66 days to actually change a habit or change your mindset, and behavioral mindset.
Quin: That’s so true. So true. From what I hear, you have basically everything that it takes to be healthy, to have a healthy mind, a healthy body, and a healthy relationship ‘cause you meditate, you workout everyday, and you go in adventures and dates with your wife, which I really liked. I wanna ask you, you are healthy in all those three? Then after that, I wanna ask you, how often do you go on dates and what do you do?
Todd: That’s a great question. Yes and no. I’ve been married for two years. I was married before for nine years, and I got out of that marriage. I left that marriage about five years ago. It was very toxic and it was very hard. I’ve always been a person, that’s in my book. You versus your promises.
Marriage to me was like, we made a promise, it’s for life, with my faith and my background. But it was just so toxic that after nine years, I’ve given it all I can and I had to quit and it was obviously a great decision. I see my kids every weekend. I met this beautiful woman who, in the beginning of relationship, you’re awesome, right? You’re on date night. You’re talking three hours a day. I was in Vegas and she was in Chicago for the first five months so I was living at the MGM and having fun as an entrepreneur, doing really, really well financially.
We’re going to Vegas next week and I’m not even a gambler. I don’t smoke or drink. I just love the energy. Living at the MGM, people everywhere, it’s just I love Vegas so much. We started our relationship and then all of a sudden, it grew and grew and grew, and I asked her to marry me. In marriage, though, it’s interesting what happens. That first two years, I always rolled my eyes, but it’s the hardest two years ever because you’re just like, “Okay, what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours.” It’s like these expectations [inaudible 0:20:54.9].
What I started to really focus on more than ever is what we’re just talking about, my reaction. If I get worried, if I get angry, I have to just keep a steady keel emotionally, especially with a woman, and just really be loving and be very caring.
Now, watch this. If I’m healthy in that way, if I can react emotionally to my wife in a very healthy way, I’ve been on the other end of that. We all can relate, right? We all can relate. When you are going through a battle with a spouse or your loved one or the person you love the most in life, your workout suck, your finance and your mindset sucks.
Does that make sense? It affects everything. Even a guy, I can’t compartmentalize it. I can’t just like, “Whatever, girl. I’m just going to the gym. Everything’s cool. I’m gonna work.” No. I think about it all day long. That is what I brought upon myself. Does that make sense?
Todd: It was my fault. I just realized I don’t wanna suffer anymore. I’m gonna focus on leading myself emotionally more than anything else because everything else doesn’t matter as much as that. Because if I can just react so well even though sometimes it’s not my fault, whatever, it’s just to anybody. It could be any relationship. I mentor a lot of people. I coach a lot of people. I hear a lot of people’s crap and I hear a lot of people’s problems. But it’s hard sometimes to manage all that emotionally.
That really has been the game changer. And yes, working out everyday seven days a week. We just came back from Mexico for eight days. We’re going to Vegas for eight days. We’re going to the Bahamas for a week. We love traveling. I’m taking her to London for her birthday. Traveling is where you experience life. I’ll just share this. If you wanna get rich, I would say yes, you should. But you should really get rich to travel. Not for the homes, not for the cars, even though all that’s nice.
Traveling makes you smarter and traveling gives you fulfillment, and traveling gives you so much memories with your loved ones. It is literally the best thing that anyone can do with money. Other than give it away, obviously, but have people come with you, experience it together. That’s where life really starts to happen for people.
Quin: I agree with you. I agree with you with that. For example, my kids, two of them are really small so it’s not ideal to travel too far with and have the two little ones in car seats and the plane and stuff. Our plan is I got a 32-foot camper and all summer, we’re gonna go out there. We got a cellphone [inaudible 0:23:44.1].
Quin: I could do a little bit of work sometimes. I wanna build up these exact memories that you mentioned. Like when we’re traveling.
Todd: I love it.
Quin: It’s gonna be all in Canada. Unfortunately, I do go out a bit just by myself and mom stays at home with the kids.
Todd: Absolutely. That’s awesome, man. Your kids, that’s what they’re gonna remember when they grow. It’s those memories, not so much the other stuff. That’s so special.
Quin: Alright, Todd. Let’s talk about You vs. You. That is your first book you published.
Quin: And this is not just a self-published book. You actually have a publisher, signed publisher.
Quin: You’re launching basically what was inside of you into this book. Is that right?
Todd: Yeah, it was. Anyone that’s listening to this, I think the statistic is 99% of people around the world wanna write a book and 98% don’t. Nowadays, yes, it’s easier to write a book and self-publish but I wanted to do tier one everything. My publisher is Greenleaf Publishing. Only 3% of first time authors get signed. I actually got signed.
I got a C+ in English class in college and high school. The first thing is I networked with the right people from John Maxwell and I was introduced to some people that really helped me out to get the book going. It cost me lots of money. Lots of money. I don’t wanna give you the numbers here.
For anyone’s life to change, it comes down to how much money they’re willing to put up. I really do. To start a podcast cost money. To be a coach cost money. To be a leader cost money. To go on a business for yourself cost money. The reason I wanted to write a book is because I wanted to make a bigger impact but I didn’t know what that looked like.
One of the things I was doing at that time was Ironmans, and I did triathlons. At the time, Lance Armstrong was a big hero of mine. He still is. I would love to meet him. He’s the man. I got into Ironmans. I never did a triathlon. I went straight to the full Ironman and my publisher was asking, “Why did you do that?” I’m like, “Well, that’s the battle within you because you train hours a day by yourself, most of the time. The cycling, the swimming, the running.”
All those hours, I was just thinking. I was just thinking, imagining, visualizing. Going through the day. Going through all that stuff, so that became You vs. You. Then I took the 12 battles which I think we’re all gonna go through, and I started writing about them, and did the research, shared the stories, gave great contexts of where I’m getting it from. It wasn’t just what I thought. It was with other people.
A lot of different research went into a lot of it. But the battles we all can relate, and it’s how to kick your own ass and win. ‘Cause we all heard life happens and life can kick you in the ass, but we can also kick ourselves in the ass and not have to do that to other people. But we could just really look in the mirror and say, “I can win these.” Your promises, your knowledge, your freedom. Such a battle there. People fight wars because of freedom.
We all have freedom but how are we using our freedom? Persona’s one of my favorites, my first battle. It’s all about social media. Everyone’s going through that battle right now. It’s the persona one. They put on a persona and a front on social media, but when you really get to know them and realize they’re not even that person.
If you could be that person all the time, it’s gonna be helpful. I took the 12 battles and I said, “Okay. What if I get put in a book, put a different spin on it, and the three R’s, Return, Redefine, and Repeat each of the battles?” ‘Cause I’ve never seen a book like that. I’ve seen a book like how to set goals and how to have a dream and how to take action. But I don’t want that ‘cause that stuff puts me to sleep sometimes.
I wanted something I could tangibly digest and give to everybody in a very entertaining way. I think that’s what we have and the book’s doing really well. It’s in Barnes & Noble, Target picked it up. Hudson News, airports all across the nation.
Another thing, kind of a narcissistic thing. When I travel, I always wanted a selfie at Barnes & Noble or Hudson News but with my book, and I just got a picture from somebody. They sent me a picture of the hardback, the sellers in Barnes & Nobles now, right next to Rachel Hollis’ book and Jen Sincero’s You’re a Badass. My book is right there next to Michelle Obama’s.
Quin: And Oprah Winfrey. I saw that.
Todd: Yeah. Yeah. Like, college dropout, first time author, that is a dream come true. I remember crying in front of my wife when I went to the Barnes & Noble about two months ago and they had it. Because when I was homeless 16 years ago, and I lost my job, I got fired the same day, I went straight to Barnes & Noble in San Diego, and I read self-help books to get me out of the mental funk. I said, “One day, I’m gonna have a book in this store.” And it took me 16 years later.
Wow. Go back to that, Todd. When you were homeless, how did that happen?
Todd: I was a personal trainer. After I worked for John Maxwell, I started a church with some friends but it was all pro bono. I was a personal trainer to pay my bills. I got my car repo’d the first time. I don’t know if you’ve had that horrible experience. Then you have to go to this weird place with chains and fences, and pay them cash, it’s like a drug deal, and you get your car back.
Then I had it repossessed again a second time on September 6, 2004. Then I had to call my boss. I was having the gym go up and I was doing really good. He’s like, “Man, this is the second time, man. I don’t know if I could trust you. We’re gonna have to let you go.” Not only did I get my car repossessed, I got fired.
Then my phone shut off that day. I had two Red Bulls the day before, and I got $35 charges for each. I was -$300 in my bank account. No job, no family in San Diego. They’re in New York. I got kicked out, also, that week. I couldn’t pay $400 a month, and all I had was a red bicycle that was my friend’s to borrow. I went straight to Barnes & Nobles, started writing on a legal pad, and that was the last time I’ve ever had a job. I never worked for anyone else, never will for the rest of my life. That was the last time ‘cause that was my day of disgust. But I was happy about it. I was surprised the way I reacted. I was like, “Alright.”
It’s kinda funny. It’s kinda humorous, you know? When all that happens to you, you gotta laugh about it. I made a lot of money off that story, believe me, because I had to share that story a lot over the years of my network marketing career. It was all true. I could even go on more hard details, but that’s what happened. I just had a good attitude. I started reading all the leadership books and then a month later, I was introduced to a legal service company and went from the bottom to the top. But it wasn’t like this, though. It took me about a year to start making $4-5,000 a month, and then another year to make $10,000 a month. Then the money started to really come.
Quin: Wow. That’s so powerful. You call that your day of disgust.
Todd: Yeah. My day of disgust where I made a decision to never work for somebody else again because I was really good at what I did but they were paying me bare nothing. That’s why I got my car repo’d. I couldn’t just pay my bills and I was working six days a week, 12 hours a day. It just wasn’t working.
If I put that much time in a business or network marketing business where there’s a low couple hundred dollar fee to get in, my mind would just work that way. I could be a millionaire or I could make a hundred thousand a year more, live the life I want in San Diego, and not have to answer to a boss and not have to get up at 4:00 in the morning just ‘cause I was told to. I like to sleep in. Why not?
I wanted a freedom. I think that You versus your freedom, I wanted the freedom more than the paycheck. I wanted a freedom more than the comfortable job or the pension or the security blanket. I wanted a freedom and I was willing to do what I had to do, work ethic-wise to get the freedom no matter what happened to me. That’s who I am. I’m a very driven hardworking person, but I’m working hard on my dreams always. I’m not working hard on somebody else’s dreams.
Quin: Nice. I like the fact that you do really what you wanted because a lot of the entrepreneurs I talked to and a lot of entrepreneurs that we see on social media, they say that they want the freedom, when in reality, they create themselves a job by starting this new entrepreneurship business or something.
Now, the one thing they don’t give themselves is the freedom ‘cause they’re searching something else and reality is they may not even know it. But you knew you wanted the freedom. The money didn’t matter or anything else. You actually want freedom and you managed to do it. Congratulations.
Todd: Thank you. Yeah, the freedom is everything. It doesn’t matter the amount of money, whatever you need. We have a downtown place in Chicago now and we have our dream home on a golf course in best of both worlds. Me and my wife have a great life. I don’t know. It’s just hard to explain but it’s not about the money.
You gotta make good money to make that lifestyle but you don’t have to be a zillionaire or anything. But you gotta be smart with it. But it’s just like working out. I don’t know. I never stuck in traffic. I never have to go to gym when it’s packed. I always go to gym when no one’s there. It’s like the little one-percenters. You just really appreciate.
I started my day at noon in a workday, and I end at seven, and then we have date nights and watch movies and travel on the weekends and hang out with the family. It’s a great life. But everyone chooses their own life. Their own path. So, I never get mad at anyone who says, “I love my job.” Or, “I never wanna be an entrepreneur.”
Obviously, again, they’ve gone for people that worked their jobs. We all need people that do that, of course. But if you ever really wanna be an entrepreneur, though, it’s definitely like this. But I think once you get some momentum and you really know clarity and you have certainty on who you are, number one, and you don’t compare yourself to all the other people out there, and you realize you have something special.
It’s like Tom Brady. The guy plays football. He’s not known for anything else. He wants to be the greatest football player. That’s what he does everyday. If you could just compartmentalize, “Okay. Tom Brady is great at football because that’s all he does. What can be my greatness? Could it be Facebook Lives? Could it be social media? Could it be coaching? Could it be writing? Could it be podcast? Could it be whatever?”
You gotta stick to it and not worry about all the other stuff ‘cause there’s so many distraction now. Maybe get off Instagram. I only follow people like Dean Graziosi and people like you in there. Sometimes, it’s depressing ‘cause it’s like there’s a lot of people doing better than me.
Rachel Hollis, I’m like, “Screw her. She’s always number one. She breathes and she goes number one. Why is that?” I can also get in the funk if I’m always on social media so I had to stay doing what I love and what I’m good at, and that’s what I wanna be known for.
Quin: Yeah. I agree with all of that. The fact that we gotta get out of that mentality, that comparing ourselves with the stories that we created for those people ‘cause when I look at an Instagram post, doesn’t matter who it is, if it’s yours or not, I’m creating a story of what that picture really represents, and it may not be the reality. Most of the time, it probably isn’t.
Todd: So true.
Quin: But that says that your picture gave me, it was put there by my own mind, right? We’re fighting ourselves. That’s why the title of your book is so fantastic ‘cause it’s always you versus you. That’s incredible.
Todd: Yeah. Thank you.
Quin: I hope that you get to be out there. One of my favorite books is The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
Todd: Malcolm Gladwell.
Quin: He’s been on the Top four, I don’t know how many years, right? It’s so incredible. I really love it.
Quin: I hope you get up there with them and stay up there for a long time.
Todd: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I think we have something special and that’s why I’m so proud of the book, even the way it looks. My publisher did a really good job. Like I said, we did a tier one. If you touch the book, even though it’s comfortable holding at. It’s just like a John Maxwell book or any of the top books out there. We’re really proud of it. It’s a dream come true.
It’s because I’ve been an entrepreneur that I’ve been able to do that. If I have a job, there’s no way I would have funded it. There’s no way. You can be an author, be the greatest writer in the world but if you don’t have a marketing plan, if you don’t have a team, if you don’t have a social presence, you’re gonna pay for that. You’re not gonna be able to do it all yourself.
That’s why you gotta have a side hustle. You gotta have some kind of way to make income if you ever wanna have a dream. Dreams are so expensive. I can’t believe sometimes. I’m like, “Why do I even have this dream, Quin? Oh my God, I’m breaking the bank account. I’d rather just have the bank account stay there instead of paying all this people like this.” I’ll never regret it, though, Quin. I’ll never sit back and regret, “I wish I’d wrote a book. I wish I did it.” But you know I’ll never regret it now because I did it.
Quin: That’s the best. I guess the biggest thing most people have, I don’t know who it was that interviewed a ton of people after the age of 70. Their biggest regret, their number one regret among all of them was what they didn’t do.
Quin: Right? What they left behind and didn’t do.
Todd: [inaudible 0:37:48.4]
Quin: Something I wanna ask you about your book which I saw, I believe it’s fantastic because I’d never saw this before, and you have a book trailer just like a movie. I was watching it and I was fascinated.
Quin: Wow. It makes me wanna read that just because it was like a movie trailer, absolutely. That’s an amazing idea. Is that part of the publishing company or it was yours?
Todd: No. No. For me, the publisher, and I love them dearly, but they don’t really do much for me. They just publish the book and get it out distribution-wise. It’s my job, and solely my job, to promote the books. Luckily, my wife’s best friend’s brother, his name is Jason Yap, he works for [inaudible 0:38:39.8] now and he’s hired by ABC: The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. I caught him before he’s famous and he was able to do the trailer for me.
But that was just me filming in Chicago, right where I live. Movies have trailers, why shouldn’t books have trailers? The trailer was a little bit like I was down a little bit.
But we’re making a second one now. When I say down, I mean like I’m just thinking. I’m in my head. In the trailer, if you see it, you could see that youvsyoubook.com. But the second one we’re making now is gonna be me winning. Like all of those boom, boom, boom. Crushing that winning, happy, Rocky.
Todd: Yeah, yeah. Just like winning and not just pondering and struggling. ‘Cause we do both, but we want the win at the very end, right? You wanna knock out Dolph Lundgren at Rocky IV and win the very final moment. I think that’s how our lives are inch by inch, play by play. That’s how you win the game of football. Once inch could give you the first down which leads to the Superbowl victory. Or one inch not getting it. Less one inch, now you’re giving it to the other team and you lose.
It’s very critical every single moment that we’re living, to start to operate victory is the attitude. Being more mindful-wise and willing, and having the philosophy, “I’m gonna operate in victory no matter what. Even if I’m going through a rough time, I’m gonna win. I’m gonna get through this. I’m gonna win. I’m not gonna let this attack. I’m gonna learn a lesson here. I’m gonna get through it. I’m gonna punch this right in its face, which mostly is me, and I’m gonna win and I’m gonna be a leader. I’m gonna be the hero of my own story.”
That’s why it drives me nuts that everyone’s gonna see Avengers this weekend ‘cause that’s not even real. It’s all green screen. It’s all silly. Be your own hero. They’re paying a million dollar. They’re gonna have to refinance their mortgage to go [inaudible] the movies ‘cause it’s so expensive. Hopefully, they’re heroes in their own house because this is real life and I wanna kick my own ass to be the Avenger of my life. Not that I don’t like to see the movies, but I’m just saying I wish people were more focused on them being the hero instead of someone else.
Quin: That is an amazing advise. I hope people do listen to this because I feel the same way. I have limited time for TV, for movies. Unfortunately, maybe there would be a good way to belong, but in the last five years, me and my wife have not gone to one movie. I know it’s not all about hustle, hustle, work, work, work, but reality is things like that that are not benefiting me in somehow is wasting time. Like Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”
Quin: I hear that in my mind everytime I’m doing a task or anything that is not helping anybody, or not benefiting anybody ‘cause I can do some tasks that are gonna not benefit me but if they’re gonna benefit you or somebody else, okay, it’s worth it. But if it’s not benefiting anybody besides the big ticket of movies.
Todd: I know. I know 100%. There are some movies that are inspiring but they’re far in between. It’s hard picking a movie nowadays. It’s two hours of your life gone, so me and my wife are very picky about that. I’d rather read a book or journal, or hang out with her and just talk. I think a lot of people are lazy. Even selling my book, it’s hard because it’s like, “Well, I don’t wanna read. When’s your audio coming out?” I’m like, “Well, I understand the audio is good, too, but you’re using different parts of your brain.” The subconscious brain works just like you pick up weights in the weight room. You gotta train your mind. You can’t just listen to everything all the time.
You also have to read, you have to journal, you have write, you have to write down your thoughts. You also can listen, obviously, which is phenomenal. Me and you are both in the audio game as well for being both podcasters, but having something in writing and holding a book, there’s nothing like it, and highlighting it. That’s how you’re gonna take action and not just get inspired and then do nothing about it. I’m a fan of absolutely both. You’re using both sides of your brain. The right side and the left side when you’re reading and also listening.
Quin: Yes. Yeah. For those of you that are only listening, I will make sure you’re gonna have a link on the podcast show note with this video that I mentioned about Todd’s book trailer so you guys can see that. Check out the show note and I’ll have a link in there, and this video link.
Todd: Thank you.
Quin: You got help from, you mentioned it was John Yap?
Todd: His name is Jason Yap.
Todd: Jason Yap. Phenomenal guy, and does a lot of my social media stuff, but super talented.
Quin: Nice. So, Todd, how do you find a publisher and what is it that they want from you?
Todd Cahill’s Dreams start to come true with a vision
Todd: That is a great question. That’s the million dollar question because I wondered that question and now that I’m on the other side, I’m gonna answer it this way. This is gonna be a cool 30 seconds worth for your listeners. If they even get anything out of this podcast, really pay attention to what I’m about to say.
I was asked to be on a conference call five years ago. That was in Sacramento. I was by myself. I was on a speaking tour. I decided to do what I did before and I wrote a five-year vision statement. Okay. I day in the life of me in five years, which is 2019. I get goosebumps thinking about this.
I wrote down, “I wanna be a bestselling author. I wanna write a book. I wanna share the stage with John Maxwell. I wanna get a publisher.” I put it out there, and then I did something very scary. I posted it. Okay? Publicly. I talked about my divorce and why I wanna meet a beautiful woman. I wanna live on a golf course. I wanna also have a second home in the city. I got it all right now. This is five years ago. I’m living it now.
But here’s what’s crazy. As soon as I posted it, I went to an event. A lady walks up to me. She says, “I saw your post.” She pulled me aside in Anaheim Convention Center. I’m like, “What’s your name?” This is just like the movie The Secret. She said, “Andia May.” I’m like, “May? You’re the wife of Nate May.” I’m like, “Yeah.” She’s like, “Yeah,” so I’m like, “Nate May? I used to work for him at John Maxwell.” She’s like, “Yeah. I think he can help you.”
I got in a conference call a week later. He charged me a high retainer but I did it and I trusted him, and he flew from Atlanta to California. He put me in the room with a guy that has 77 number one New York Times books but nobody knows his name. He’s the godfather of book sales. He didn’t write the book, he works with all the greatest.
He sat there and he was able to make a phone call and that’s how he got a title. I got a help with the writing team and everything, and he opened up all these doors. If I didn’t sit down in Sacramento in the hotel room, write down a five-year vision statement that took me about an hour, posted on social media, the lady never would’ve introduced herself. I never would’ve got connected to a guy I used to know over 10 years ago who flew into my home in California at the time, introduced me to the guy that’s the godfather of book sales, and I was able to open up.
This is five years ago. Then because of that affiliation, the publisher trusted me and said, “We’ll do it.” Because of who I knew and who I was associated with, I don’t even think they read the book. I think they read the chapters and they loved the concept, but it wasn’t about word for word, “What is great? Okay, we got something. Yes, it’s different. Yes, we can trademark it.” Or, “Yes, nobody has that title,” et cetera, but it was more of who I was with as opposed to my dream.
Who you know really is true. We all can network and we also can put our dreams out there to the universe and publicly, and the right people are gonna come to us whether we expect it or not.
Quin: That’s such an amazing story. It’s kind of proof that life happens for you, right?
Quin: Do you believe in that? Life happens for you. So if you didn’t post that more than likely, well, we don’t know now, but more than likely now, that would’ve happened.
Todd: Absolutely. It’s crazy.
Quin: That’s powerful. I really love that.
Todd: I’m very grateful. Yeah, yeah. Everything else happened, too. It’s crazy. I shared the stage with John Maxwell, too. In fact, I got John Maxwell to do push-ups. I’m the only one to ever get him to do push-ups and he almost had a heart attack and we almost lost him. [laughs]
Todd: I thought I was gonna kill John Maxwell. I was like, “No. No. No.” ‘Cause I motivated him so much ‘cause I was doing burpees. Then he’s like, “He needs 74,” and he’s like, “I’m gonna do it, too.” He was out of breath for 20 minutes. I was like, “Oh, no. What did I do?” [laughs]
Quin: That’s the one thing you don’t wanna be known for. [laughs]
Todd: No. No, no. [laughs] He’s number one in the world right now in [inaudible 0:48:18.7]. He’s my mentor and my hero. Yeah.
Quin: Yeah. I love him as well.
Todd: Yeah. [chuckles]
Quin: Todd, besides your own book and John C. Maxwell’s books that he has, doesn’t he have over 60 books right now?
Todd: Yeah. Easily. Yeah. Probably a hundred. Yeah.
Todd: Close to a hundred. Yeah.
Quin: Besides those, tell me about a book that has marked to you. Maybe one of those books that you have read more than once.
Todd: Yeah. Honestly, I hope a listener listens to this and knows this woman because I would love to meet this woman. I think she’s amazing. That’s Jen Sincero. She wrote You Are a Badass, which is good but I read You Are a Badass, Making Money. It came out, I bought it at Target.
You can go on Youtube and that shares the whole book on Youtube. I don’t know if she did that on purpose or maybe somebody did it. It’s six hours long. I’m telling you, I’ve listened to it over and over. I go to bed listening to it and reading her book, and I just loved the way she delivers her message.
It’s a lot of basic stuff you also have heard but the way that she delivers it is phenomenal. She’s a number one New York Times selling author, but she’s an amazing woman and she was broke up until 43. She’s making $30,000 a year. Then one day, she just decided to go all out and she became a multimillionaire very quickly.
That’s what impressed me most about her story. She wasn’t born in the money. She had a really developed mindset of how to make money, and I think that’s what all entrepreneurs need to have, what she talks about in her book because if you don’t have it, you’ll go broke. I don’t care how well you do. You’ll never be able to keep the money.
Quin: Nice. Nice.
If anybody listening knows Jen Sincero, please let her get in touch with Todd. Help him out here.
Todd: And you. She could be on your podcast, at my podcast, yeah. That’ll be amazing.
Quin: Exactly. Jen, if you are listening to this-
Todd: Yes. [laughs]
Quin: You know. [laughs]
Todd: We love you.
Quin: Todd, you also have a podcast and it’s called It’s Not Out There, It’s In You.
Todd: Yes. That is correct. Yup.
Quin: What’s the podcast about?
Todd: It’s really the battle within. It’s a lot has to do with my book. We just started that early this year. It’s only 14, 15 episodes. But it really talks about relationships and promises, knowledge, health. A lot of the big battles we go through, it had to attack them. We’re just gonna keep bringing in.
On my next podcast, we’re gonna be talking about branding. I’m just gonna keep talking about what I’m good at. Coaching, branding, mindset, meditation, subconscious work that I did with Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Todd: Stuff that really matters that really can be helpful to the audience. But the first 12, the 13 episodes are a lot about my book and a lot about the battles, specifically your bio in each of those episodes.
Quin: What was it that you worked with Dr. Joe Dispenza?
Todd: I worked with a lot of the meditation stuff. My coaches worked with him and he’s worked with them, and read his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself about four years ago, and I laughed at meditation. I don’t wanna be offensive in any way, but I thought it was for few that did yoga, mostly women in California.
I don’t know. You have this perception of, “I’m just meditating in my yoga pants,” right? But it literally saved my life and, of course, I don’t think like that now. But I learned the science of it and then I started a coaching practice based on what I did for me because I’ve actually tried to commit suicide twice.
I’ve had a rough life. I’ve had a lot of mental issues with my confidence and everything. I’ve talked about it in my book. This is what saved even my relationship. It’s so incredibly scientific, what it does to your brainwaves and how you gain access and it’s the only thing you can gain access to, what I learned, is through meditation.
That really is able to make me a different person so I can make a permanent change and not just say, “I’m gonna change,” but actually change. His work has really shaped me. I knew about him about five years ago. Now, he’s like the number one speaker in the world. I love his stuff and I continue to learn from him.
Quin: Very nice. Basically, with meditation now, do you believe you can get rid of that programming that women [inaudible 0:53:02.4]
Todd: Absolutely. Yeah, it’s a process, though. It’s really a step-by-step process that I teach my clients. It’s not just meditating ‘cause a lot of people like, “Well, I’m trying meditating and my mind is all over the place.” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s good. Because if your mind wasn’t, then you would be dead, so that’s good. But it’s also subconscious work with affirmations. I’ve been to a lot of conferences, Quin, and it’s kind of awkward. You get someone on stage and like, “Alright, everyone. Stand up.” Everyone stands up and like, “Okay, repeat after me. I am a winner.” “I am a winner.” “I am a leader.” “I am a leader.” “I am a top income producer.” “I am.”
Honestly, that does nothing other than a cool adrenaline rush. But I found a way. If you could take the affirmations and you meditate ‘cause now, you have access to your subconscious mind, you can actually change your thinking through the affirmations because it’s like permanent thought that rewires your brain. You gotta do it consistently over and over, get about 21 days or more. But the old way of thinking goes away, and you don’t even think that way anymore.
It’s like a snake skin. It falls off and a new one appears. It’s the same as your brain. The old brain goes away and you replace it with a new brain and you just become a different person. That’s so powerful. Your brain controls everything. If you can’t control it, then it will control you, and that’s where people get themselves in big trouble.
Quin: Love it. Love it. I guess we’re running out of time now.
We’ll have to probably leave this for another episode.
Quin: You mentioned a couple of times you attempted suicide? Or did you just think about it?
Todd: No, I attempted it. Twice. I attempted it through my car and turning it on and closing the garage door. When I look back on why I did it, I think there was just obviously a level of a true unhappiness. The first time I did it, I had a huge following. It wasn’t social media. It was real life.
I had tens of thousands of people on my team. I was revered. People call me Mr. Cahill. People would ask to grab my bag. I was, back in 2008, 2009. It wasn’t a financial issues. It was just not happy. I was in a marriage. I was just like, “Is this it? Is this is it? Is this it?” I was very immature, too. I was still in my 20’s. The other time, which is a few years ago, it was very selfish, and it comes from a selfish thought. It’s something that I think we all have. I think we’ve all had suicidal thoughts, all of us. Some people say, “No. I never have.” Well, God bless them. I think they’re liars.
Life is tough, but that doesn’t mean you do it. You don’t own that thought. Some people do own that thought like the poor Robin Williams who I just love, love, love Robin Williams. I just watched Goodwill Hunting the other day and I was just like, “Oh, my God. He’s the greatest.” Some people actually really do that. I just know that I got help, I got counseling, I got a therapist. I took action needed, and I identified why I did it so that way, I could not only be an example for others, but I can also never go there again in that dark space.
I don’t mind now sharing it because I know there’s so many people suffering, and there’s so many people that maybe need to hear it instead of just like, “Yeah. Think positive thoughts.” If it was that easy, we would all have a great life. But you can’t just think positive thoughts. That is nothing. If you’re thinking negative thoughts all the time and you’re just like, “Yeah,” you can’t do it. It’s like smoking for 30 years and you just take the cigarettes away. “Alright, stop smoking.” “Okay, sure. No problem.” Stop drinking. “Okay.” “Stop doing the heroin.” “No problem.” You have to go through a process no matter what the addiction is. So I had to do that.
Negative thinking is an addiction
Quin: Yeah, and negative thinking, you believe, is an addiction?
Todd: Quin, you hit it on the nail. That’s what I can even leave your listeners with. Being negative is a complete addiction. People are addicted to their negative thinking, including me in the past. What that means, I don’t know why, but they’re addicted. Why do people do drugs? Why do people do meth? It’s horrible for your teeth. Why do people do bad hard drug? I don’t know. But they’re addicted to feeling bad. They’re addicted to their crap because it’s been so consistent, they’ve pretty much given up.
You have to really address it individually. It’s an individual issue. It’s not all the same, but some of it is the same. Some of which, universal, and meditation will get you out of that addiction. It can and it has. But there’s also things you need to do after you meditate that really can bring science involved and not just wishful thinking. But really how the brain works and really how it can work for you and not against you.
People do get addicted. But also, you should get addicted or will get addicted to your positive life and how amazing life is, and happiness and gratefulness. There’s one thing to get addicted to, that we all can do leaving this podcast, and this is my action steps, be grateful. I’m grateful for you, Quin. I’m grateful that you had the foresight to say, “I want Todd on my podcast today. I’m so grateful for you. You have made my day. You have made my weekend. I hope I could impact at least one of your listeners. You have made my day. If there’s anything I could do for you, let me know. I’m just grateful to be on and grateful that I’m healthy. I’m grateful that I have a beautiful family.
Even if I had a dollar in my pocket, I have to be grateful because we all can be grateful. But if you don’t think like that, you’re always gonna be negative. It’s the compound effect. It’s gonna take over your whole life. Eventually, you won’t have anyone to love because no one’s still gonna be there for you ‘cause you’re so negative, and nobody wants to be around negative people. Nobody. You have to be careful.
Quin: I hear you. Man, I really love that, because we know we’ve all been there. I’ve been negative myself. I had to rewire and still control myself when certain things happen, and I have to just think about it a bit more. It’s a process. Like you said, it’s a process.
Quin: Todd, let everybody know. When you’re listening to this, of course, like you said, you’re gonna impact a lot of people, for sure. I know it. Where can people find you? Where can they hear more about you?
Todd: Yeah, they can find me on Instagram, toddmcahill. C-A-H-I-L-L. But if they just go to youvsyoubook.com, all of my links are there as well, so they could just go to you, Y-O-U, and then versus, V-S, youbook.com. Youvsyoubook.com. Everything is really much there. The trailer’s there. All my social media links are there, et cetera. Kind of a one stop shop. Youvsyoubook.com.
Quin: Awesome. I also believe you had something prepared for our listeners?
Todd: As far as a giveaway, right?
Todd: Yes. If they go to youvsyoubook.com, I’m giving away my online course.
They get my book for free, that’s until Monday. Get my hardback copy, I’ll sign it. My wife also signs it. She did the epilogue. You just have to pay for shipping. It’s $7.95.
If they put in the code, BEYONDDRIVEN, okay?
BEYONDDRIVEN, they will get four of my courses online.
- Unleashing Your Winning Mindset
- You vs Your Finances
- You vs Your Calendar
- You vs Your Relationships
But they have about six to seven videos each, so they’re getting over 20 something videos on those things, all free.
They just have to put in that code, BEYONDDRIVEN, and the first 20 people that do that get it for free. Then, I’m keeping my book up for three plus shipping until Monday.
Quin: Awesome. Thank you very much for that. You guys heard him, so run in there and check it our right now.
Todd: [laughs] Thank you so much.
Quin: Todd. Thank you for being here. I really loved everything you said and I loved having you here.
Todd: Thank you.
Quin: Thank you.
Todd: I loved being here, Quin. You’re a great man. Thanks so much for all you’re doing and keep up the great work.
Quin: Awesome. Thank you.
Quin: Let’s stay in touch.
Todd: Yeah, for sure. Thank you.
http://youvsyoubook.com to get the book for free use code: BEYONDDRIVEN and you only pay for shipping