#5 Rachel Gilmore -Speaker, Freedom Coach and Author
Quin interviews Rachel Gilmore for the Fail Fast Podcast, a story of strength and determination to achieve success.
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The below is the transcript of the conversation between Quin and Rachel
Quin Amorim: Okay everyone, welcome to the Fail Fast podcast. Today we have a special guest from North Carolina, she’s a freedom coach, an author, a mother and with us today we have Rachel Gilmore. How are you, Rachel?
Rachel Gilmore: I’m wonderful, thank you, thank you so much for having me here today.
Quin Amorim: Rachel being a coach, mother, speaker all of these.
How do you have time?
Rachel: That’s a really good question people ask me that all the time.
I think it’s about being very intentional about where you spend your time. That’s the biggest thing, because we all have time for the thing that we love, and we enjoy, right?
Quin Amorim: That’s true, yes.
Rachel Gilmore: They make time yeah so, I think time is something that a lot of people use as an excuse.
Quin Amorim: So, Rachel why don’t you tell us what is, what’s a freedom coach?
Rachel Gilmore: So, for me a freedom coach is I work with clients who are primarily entrepreneurs or small business owners. People who are here to serve humanity at a greater capacity, they are not here to be average they are here to be extraordinary and so many of them decided to become entrepreneurs or to become business owners because they have like this internal drive. And so that internal drive is like motivating force behind them right, but so many of them are so caught up in the doing that they lose sight of themselves.
And so, they get burned out they get exhausted they start having health problems or their relationships aren’t great and so they come to me and they are like they are at this place in their life where some things falling apart and somethings not right, and what I do is I help them discover the truth of who they are.
Like who they really are helping to get clarity on themselves, and so that they can be authentic, and they can be vulnerable, and they can show up from this place of freedom to express themselves to truly authentically be themselves and when you do that you show up in the world as your most authentic self you not only give other people permission to be there most authentic self.
But you no longer care like you’re not motivated by the fears that once motivated you, motivated by like your highest purpose you’re motivated by something far greater and that’s freedom.
You know and, in that places, when you’re in alignment when you’re operating from your own heart space from your authentic space then I believe that when you’re in alignment everything else opening up. Your relationships will improve, your business will improve, you’ll have more clients you’ll have all the things that you’re looking for and then you have more freedom to have more time freedom to travel to explore to have adventures to do all the things that you love.
So it’s coming back to knowing yourself it’s kind of the beginning of having total freedom.
Quin Amorim: Very good. And talking about the having the time for travel I notice that you don’t stop your everywhere is that right?
Rachel Gilmore: Yes, so I caught this ah travel bug if you will, and I’ve always loved traveling
I’ve done a lot of traveling within the United States I got west every chance that I get and I love to explore and see new places and recently I spent five weeks in south-east Asia exploring through Thailand’s and Indonesia and it was the most life-changing experience I’ve ever experienced.
I’ve been working personal development and self-help and all of these things for so many years I mean really like since I was nineteen so for the last almost twenty years I’ve been working on this.
And that five weeks of being outside of my comfort zone of being in a new environment of being on the other side of the world, it really catapulted me to a whole new level of being and the reality of freedom that my life will never be the same ever again.
Quin Amorim: That is, that’s amazing and you mentioned being outside of your comfort zone that’s something that’s very important to me, because I know when I’m outside of my comfort zone it means that I feel that I’m going to achieve something. I’m either going to have a big favor or I’m going to have some big success.
And that’s one of the reasons of this podcast is to actually let people know that it’s a good thing to be outside of your you know outside of what you know and have a bit of fear.
Rachel Gilmore: Yes. All change happens outside of your comfort zone. I mean all change does, that’s the only way you can change really is getting outside of your comfort zone.
And so one of the things I teach is getting really comfortable being uncomfortable, with being ok with being uncomfortable and knowing that if you’re here to make a big difference in the world to make a big impact and have a big transformation then you’re going to have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Then when that thing that was once really uncomfortable becomes comfortable it’s time for you to move up to the next thing and it’s a constant of facing your fears and then moving up to the next level.
And I like to apply that for like rock climbing right because I like to rock climb. So like when you get comfortable in one route it’s time to move on to the next one that’s going to challenge you, you got to keep challenging yourself.
Quin Amorim: That’s something I’ve never done rock climbing, and I did see one of your pictures of you were hanging with one arm, well that’s pretty cool. So tell me about that huh me outside the comfort zone, what was it about was it the culture over there was it the scenery, was it…
Rachel Gilmore: I think it’s the fear of the unknown you know because, you know when you mentioned that you lived in Europe for twenty years that we don’t know what we don’t know so we live in the United State and were comfortable with our surroundings you know you thing about going the other side of the world where you don’t know the langue you don’t know the money you know how to drive they drive on the opposite side of the road like all of these things it just the fear of the unknown.
We don’t know what we don’t know and sometimes we fear that thing we get so comfortable that some of you were like why would somebody want to try something that they don’t know?
I have a sister who’s like I have no desire to like to leave the United States right for some people they just don’t have that desire.
I think for those of us who are entrepreneurs it’s that drive that’s within us but it was the fear of the unknown like I don’t know what I’m getting myself into, I don’t know if I’m going to arrive at the airport and don’t know how I’m supposed to get to where I’m supposed to go I don’t know they are going to know my language just the fear of the unknown.
But you when you face it, you’re like oh my gosh what was I afraid of?
Like what why was I even afraid it was the most experience, but you don’t know that unless you face that fear.
And I think that if people would just express that you have this fear, like face it and then you’re going to realize that wow it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was and if you fail you learn something from it and if you succeed then the next time to go the face the fear you’ve now got this new belief system your strengthening that muscle, that facing your fear muscle and the more you strengthen that muscle the easier it is to go after your fears so yea.
Quin Amorim: I can relate to that when I moved from Europe and came back to Canada I’ve been twenty-something years away and I move to this city up north to work in the oil field and I didn’t know anybody, I’ve never been there I don’t know anything, and it was the first time I ever saw temperatures below zero.
And it was actually not minus frothy one day, and minus forth Celsius is the same as minus frothy foreign heights and a friend of mine called me from Europe and he was telling me how cold he was because it was like almost negative temperature over there here I was with minus frothy and because I didn’t know what could happen to me I was afraid if I took deep breaths with my mouth I could freeze my lungs.
I didn’t know if my ears were going to break and I was walking outside on the way to the hotel and I thought I don’t know if I’m damaging my body by breathing if what should I do?
And it was just things that other people consider its normal and everybody was walking around all normal and I was so afraid because I’ve never experienced it.
And now it’s an everyday thing and I’ve been here for another eleven years.
Rachel Gilmore: Yeah just becomes normal, right?
Quin Amorim: Exactly. So Rachel, tell me, with all these experiences that you had in the states outside the states and throughout your life what is a failure that you had?
Rachel Gilmore: So, about let’s see I guess about four and a half years ago, I was at a completely different place than I’m at right now.
I had what I would call my dream home you know the big home that everybody dreams of having. I was married, three daughters and I owned I think at the time three or four different businesses very successful.
Like if you looked at me from the outside I had it all, I had the beautiful family, the beautiful home you know everything that I wanted. And on the inside, I was a mess I was like dying.
I was searching outside of myself for fulfillment and I was trying to find some sense of purpose a sense of fulfillment like something within me wasn’t contempt, so I was constantly searching outside of myself for different things.
And one of the things I had was, I had a personal training studio I had a pet resort and my now ex-husband, and I owns a construction company, and the personal training was kind of my passion the pet resort it was a business that I started because I want to start a business.
And I want to google like what is a business that will withstand the economy crashing you know and anything dealing with pets.
So, I was like ok I’m going to start this pet resort and it was amazing and it was fun, and I love the startup of it but I didn’t enjoy like the daily grind of the long days the long hours of working with the animals.
So, I went and started this other business of personal training, and I did personal training I did group fitness instruction I did nutrition all these different things I did in this arena and what was happening with me is I was feeling fulfilled in helping other people, so it really felt fantastic for me to help other people.
And so, I also coached CrossFit part time and I also spend a lot of time in the CrossFit here myself. And because I was unhappy, and my relationship was on the rocks with my now ex I had a lot going on the inside and I was going to the Jim to get out my frustrations if that makes sense.
And a lot of people do that it was like my stress reliever which I now know like the worst thing you can do if you’re stressed is to go put your body under more stress and that’s what I was doing all the time.
So, I was working really long hours I was like getting up like five o clock in the morning to teach at five thirty am booth cam class and that clients and I would go and do CrossFit and it just this lifestyle that I want to keep up.
And I was like the CrossFit Jim one day and doing handstand pushups and I literally fell to the ground, and I knew something wasn’t right.
I could feel my body getting weaker I could feel my clothes getting a little bit titer and you know for anybody who is in that fitness role that kind of becomes your identity right and I was like I’m losing this identity of like being this fitness person.
And by the time I got to a doctor they said, they want to hospitalize me because my adrenals had failed, and my endocrine system was starting to shut down on me and I was starting to have a lot of symptoms and one of them was fatigue and the other one was weight gain and a lot of things were happening and I find I could hardly get out of bed in the morning.
And so, at that point in my life that’s was like a catalyst for my whole transformation to bring me to where I am today, I ended up closing my fitness business I stop coaching CrossFit I ended up giving the pet resort to my sister who now owns and operate the pet resort and I’m going through a divorce and moving out of my dream home into a small little townhouse like everything fell apart.
And for a while I felt like I was a failure like here I was on the top and I lose it all like I failed and then it was at some point I know you’re probably going to ask me this question, but I realized like that was the catalyst to get me to where I am today.
So, a lot of people who knew me they felt bad for me like I was a failure especially when I started gaining weight I would see people in the grocery store and people would make comments like your letting yourself go or like what’s going on with you or like it was a thing.
And I was struggling with it like yea I totally lost my identity, and not only did I lose my identity as being like this fitness person and I ran all the time and all that stuff, like now I’m losing my businesses and now I’m like moving out of my dream home into a townhouse like that was a time of my life I don’t look at it now like a failure buts.
Quin Amorim: No, it’s I believe that its only failure when you give up on it right, if you continue working on it and we can tell now, of course, that failure turn you into probably what you are now.
Rachel Gilmore: Yes.
Quin Amorim: So, is that the positive outcome of is that you found yourself from it?
Rachel Gilmore: Yes, so what I realized that I had to like the identity that I had, I had this identity in having all of the things.
I had this identity in the body image you know and when all that came crashing down, per say then I can begin to rebuild from an authentic like that was all fear-based, that was all of that was accomplished out of fear of not being good enough.
And so when all of that fade away then I could begin to rebuild on a foundation of love, of coming to know me who am I and so I’ve to rebuild like that was all built on fear and when it came crumbling down like I rebuild on love of myself and unconditional acceptance and like who I am is good enough.
And I’ve completely and utterly rebuilt my entire life and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
I’m traveling I’m doing my business I’ve never been like I’m so fulfilled in my business but it’s because I identified who I am, and I got in touch with myself and got clarity around what is it I’m really here to do.
Before I was just looking for thing to fulfill me, now I’m not so much looking for things I’m going with it and saying what is it that I’m here to do.
What brings me the most joy what do I love doing what am I here to do? And I’m doing that, and it requires me to consistently face my fears it requires me to every time that like that mindset of wanting to feel like a victim, because I struggled I mean let’s be real I’ve struggled.
When I left my husband, I had nothing, and he didn’t want me to leave and so he basically said to me…we had you know…the one business we had together was very successful.
Multiple six-digit incomes. He said if you walk out, you need to understand that you’re walking out and that you are walking with nothing.
And at that point I had two choices, I could walk away and start my life over with nothing or I could fight him, and I could you know hire an attorney and I could go to the courts and I could da, da, da to get half.
And I decided that the stress was not worth it I’m going to start over from scratch and I’m going to rebuild and that’s what I did.
I went and opened my first banking account on my own with like Thirty dollars and…
I’d started over from scratch with nothing and I’ve rebuilt my life that way and so it’s ten…it’s been… there are good times where I was like my oldest daughter she now sixteen, she would say “mom please go get a job because I can’t stand to see you, can’t stand to see you like this”.
It was hard when you’re like how am I going to pay the bills?
How am I going to keep my car?
How am I going to put food on the table this week?
I mean it’s there were moments when I was on my knees on the ground like praying to God, begging, pleading, like I know you have a plan for my life. What do you want from me?
And I was in so much pain just crying out like, what do want from me? What do you want from me? So, it wasn’t, it wasn’t always easy, but it was so worth it.
Quin Amorim: That’s amazing I went through something similar and I had the same mentally as the…Why me? Why is it always me? And I see it differently now and its ah the gratitude you hear everybody talking about the gratitude and I use so I couldn’t see the things that I had to be grateful for.
And it’s the simple things like I open my taps, I have water come out right. How many people don’t?
And I, I can’t remember his name but there’s ah you know this motivational speaker he doesn’t have arms or legs. Have you ever seen…?
Rachel Gilmore: Yes.
Quin Amorim: And I can’t remember his name but so fantastic how happy he can be and how grateful he is for everything he has while there are obviously things that he doesn’t have and I’m like oh my goodness how can that be?
So yes that’s the mentality I try to force on myself now is be grateful always don’t it’s never about why me it’s like why not me?
Rachel Gilmore: It’s happening for me, not to me that’s been a big thing for me. It’s like everything that happens is happening for me so that I can grow so that I can learn so that I can become and if it didn’t happen then I wouldn’t be who I am today.
So that goes like from being a victim of empowerment when we make that simple shift when we want to say “why is this happening to me? It’s not happening to you, it’s happening for you.
And ah gratitude was such a huge part of my transformation. I would you know, one of the things that I taught early on when I was going through this when I first started coaching was the quickest way to move from fear to love energetically is through writing gratitude. And I would sit down with my gratitude journal and I would write until I cry.
And if you don’t know what to write you’re grateful for hey and if I come into your house tomorrow and I took away all your forks and gave them back to you a month later you think you will be grateful for your forks? Like are you grateful for your pillow?
Like, come on man! How can people say, “I don’t know what to be grateful for?” Everything, write it all down!
Just be grateful and… Changes you’re perspective when you can be grateful for everything you start realizing like it’s not as bad as I think it is.
Quin Amorim: So, Rachel, you’re also an author. What kind of books did you write, is it about yourself?
Rachel Gilmore: Yes, so I have co-authored two books and I’m writing my own book right now. The two books I’ve co-authored are both geared towards female entrepreneurs.
One of them is about being unstoppable in life and in business and I shared a story because shortly after I went through all that where I closed my businesses and went through a divorce and all that I lost my big brother. He was like my best friend in the world. And when I lost him I thought my…that just added too, just added to everything.
And I how I kept going when I was at like the darkest moments in my life how did I keep going what motivated me to keep going instead of just giving up? And so, I wrote about that in this book that I co-authored and in writing was so healing for me such a healing. A powerful way for me to like, it’s like writing gratitude.
It allowed me to have a different perspective on how everything had happened in my life.
And, it was just yeah, so for me writing is about sharing with people what is possible because I think so many of us when we are in it we think we are the only ones going through it and if we can read a story of somebody else who went through something similar or even more difficult than what we are presently going through and that moment in time it gives us hope that we can keep going too and so in writing that was my, that was my reason for writing was to inspire hope in somebody that no matter what they were going through that they can come through on the other side and they can love their life and that they can live a life that they are…it doesn’t matter what your going through.
And I can go back and tell you stories of childhood from abuse and you know different things that happen in my life that were very painful that made me who I am today. It doesn’t matter what my past is I get to create my future.
I get to create it and so living very intentionally and doing the practice of whatever it takes to change your life, do it.
You can create whatever you want for your future it doesn’t matter what your past looks like so that was what writing is for me was just expressing to people that hope that it goes back to what we said just a moment ago about what’s not happening to you it’s happening for you and looking for that.
Quin Amorim: Nice, I love how positive you are about things that…
Rachel Gilmore: Thank you.
Quin Amorim: So, Rachel so what is one of the books that is there a book that has changed you and has given you, you know the one that helps that you just mentioned?
Rachel Gilmore: There’s so many. I love to read, I read a lot actually. you know when I was sick and my body was fatigued and you know I want through the weight gain and all those things the book that I read that was really helpful for me at that time of my life was Louis Hay “You Can Heal Your Life” that really shifted my mindset. It was kind of a catalyst for the healing of my emotions with my body and see how they… it… they’re so interconnected and the next book that was…that I can think of was the most powerful for me was the “Untethered Soul” by Michael Ziglar. That book really, really just I went and bought several copies for everybody that I love because it had such an impact on me. And then more recently I’m giving you more than a lot I hope that’s ok.
Quin Amorim: Yeah, it’s okay.
Rachel Gilmore: So, recently I’ve been reading Mark Batterson book and this book he wrote called “In A Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day” was just so impactful.
So different stages of my journey different books that have gone along with me that have really helped me maybe move through to the next stage.
So, depending on which stage you’re in where you’re at in your journey, but that last one I just read sometimes I really like three or four times I think I’ve got like four going on right now.
But yea, “In A Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day” By Mark Batterson was been one of those that’s kind of just like oh I’m here for a divine purpose and I’ll never give up I will never quit, and I will never stop facing my fears.
And I will never lay down and I will never be a victim and I will never feel sorry for myself like I’m here to change the world and I’m going to keep going no matter what, it was that kind of book.
Quin Amorim: Nice. I took notes, I wrote it down so I’ll put it on the show notes and I will also make sure I have a listen to that I guess I can’t focus so I won’t be able to read it but I’ll listen to it for sure.
Rachel Gilmore: Awesome.
Quin Amorim: Here we go, “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.”
Rachel Gilmore: Yes.
Quin Amorim: That is great, okay Rachel, so you love helping people there is, of course, there’s a ton of people out there that need help and most of them don’t even know that they need help.
And probably if you asked me couple years ago I would always say I don’t need help from anybody.
Because I didn’t know and that’s the thing is I don’t know what I don’t know what I don’t know, and I didn’t know everything I didn’t know I thought I knew everything and I knew nothing. And now that I’ve changed, and I can see that I don’t know anything and I’m learning every day and if I have the help and a few years back things could have been so much better and accelerate everything I’ve learned ever since.
So, if there are people out there that need help and they want to get in touch with you how can they find you where can they find you?
Rachel Gilmore: So, I’m on Facebook as Racheal Gilmore and Instagram Rachel Marie Gilmore and LinkedIn I’m all over the place you can find me just about anywhere, Snap Chat let see where else, yeah I’m pretty much out there all over the place right now. And there’s a couple of different Rachel Gilmore I think on Facebook its Rachel Gilmore transformational speaker maybe I should have looked that up before this
Quin Amorim: I’ll put the link on the show, so they can know which one is the official
Rachel Gilmore: Thanks. you know, and I think that when it comes to coaching it’s about accountability it’s about support, it’s about guiding people to their own inner truth, it’s not about what’s works for you is not necessarily what’s going to work for me so I’m not here to tell you necessarily what to do, I’m here to guide to your own inner truth.
And that’s the most powerful thing I think about working with coach is because you don’t know what you know don’t know and I look at the most famous actually one of the books I’m reading right now is called “Relentless” and he coached all these famous basketball players including Michael Jordon and Michael Jordon end up working for this guy for like six years and the reason the worked with him was that he realized that if he was going to be best, he had to work with some body because he didn’t know what he didn’t know and I think that some many people don’t realize that they need help until they have this catalyst in their life that forces them to realize I’m not where I want to be somethings not right I need help.
And that’s a perfect time for people to begin to realize that they need to work with a coach or somebody a mentor. And it catapulted you so much further in your business than where you where you can get on your own I know because I’ve worked with a coach.
I’ve been working with a coach for like the last four years now consistently Ill not ever work with coach ever again in my life because I don’t know what I don’t know.
Quin Amorim: Exactly. Like I said, I wish I had that mentality way back it was, well anyway can’t change the past but like you said we can change and decide our own future and that’s the greatness of it.
It’s great to see that and of course your failures they slowed you down, but they didn’t stop you and that’s the important thing is that we actually learn from our failures and grow from it. And Rachel I appreciate you sharing your story and not being not being afraid to let it out,
Rachel Gilmore: Thank you for allowing me to share with you.
Quin Amorim: No problem. I appreciate your time Rachel. I want to thank you for coming on the show. If there’s one thing that people listening right now one thing that they will remember and learn what will you want them to do?
Rachel Gilmore: You know it sounds so simple but it’s so true, like anything is possible and if you have a dream or you have a vision you have that dream or you have that vision you’ve been giving it because you also have every single thing within you right now at this moment that you need to accomplish it.
So, I believe that we’ve been giving dreams because we are the one who is to bring them to the light to the world. So, whatever your dream is that you have in your heart, you have everything that you need within you to bring it to the world.
And done every stop and done ever give up until you bring it to the world because somebody needs it, we need it.
Quin Amorim: Yeah and you never know who’s listening and there’s always somebody out there listening, and do you believe in the ripple effect?
Rachel Gilmore: Absolutely.
Quin Amorim: Your changing people’s lives
Rachel Gilmore: Yes, so let’s see what’s his name, David Hawkins wrote a book called “Power Versus Force” and this I’ll never forget this as long as I live, in this book he went through vibrational frequencies and he says one person one human being vibrating at the vibrational frequency of love, which they can track that they can tell your vibrational frequency will counterbalance 750000 people vibrating at the frequency of fear.
So were all energy, were all vibrating whether we think we are or not we are right, so one person in the vibrational frequency of love counter balances 750000 people in the vibration of fear.
So, your hearing yourself, your working on yourself, you’re getting to know yourself you want to love yourself unconditionally, you are becoming embodying that energy of love and it’s not the romantic type of love it’s like this unconditional love of accepting yourself so completely for who you are that you counterbalance.
Were always impacting were always making a difference if we’re working on ourselves. And I think that’s the most powerful thing that we can do is to work on becoming the greatest version of our selves.
Quin Amorim: Nice, can you repeat that book it’s very interesting
Rachel Gilmore: Its ‘Power Versus Force” is the name of the book and if I can just see if I have it sitting here in my bookshelves I think its David Hawkins is the author of that book.
Quin Amorim: Okay, I’ll add it to the show notes it sounded very interesting I got to look into that. Perfect Rachel, again I appreciate your time. Thank you so much for spending time with us and sharing your story.
Rachel Gilmore: Thank you, thank you so much.
You can heal your life – Loise Hay
The Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer
In a pit with a Lion on a snowy day – Mark Batterson
Power Versus Force – David R. Hawkins
To find Rachel: